Up to Date

It's a little strange writing these right now. I know that no one is currently reading them, and it's possible no one ever will. We'll see I guess.

The thing I worry about most is whether or not any guys will be willing to date me if they know that I'm bi and that I've been in a relationship with a girl. I asked one of my closest guy friends, and he said that it would matter more what the relationship showed about my character. If I was loyal and all that. He also said that he's not a very good example of what other guys think. So, all-in-all, not very helpful. I appreciate the effort though.

Up to now, I have put a little bit of effort into finding my way. For example, I've been reading Cosmo for months now, but since the breakup I went back and read through most of the articles pertaining to relationships. I've also been paying more attention to the fashion. I don't really have much of a style other than comfortable, so I want to try and change that. However, I don't think that most of the stuff in Cosmo is something that fits my personality. I did hear a song recently called She's Country, by Jason Aldean. This song has inspired me to search back to my country roots to find some of the hot country girl buried deep inside me. Let's just say that I've been looking everywhere for some plaid that won't make me look butch. Unfortunately the good stuff doesn't come in my size. It's a good thing I'm starting to lose weight.

That's another problem I have. My weight. I've started to work towards losing a lot of it because I know most people really do care about that. And I want to be healthy. 5 down, 65 to go. It's going to be a long journey.

Some good news: this past semester there was a nice boy in my Japanese class that I started to have a crush on. At the very end of the semester we started to get to know each other better. At this point we're not much more than acquaintances but hopefully we'll have the class together next semester too. At least it's going somewhere.

Since coming home, I've decided I'm going to go to the local swing dancing scene and try to meet some guys there. I've only gone once so far and it didn't go so well. The guys my age tend to either be too shy or too full of themselves. That's okay, I still have faith in my plan. After all, it only takes one good guy right?

As of right now, that's where I am. I am well aware of how little it is, so there's no need to tell me. Once again, I hope you enjoy reading about my folly's. Feel free to laugh, and feel free to offer some advice. I'm going to need it.